Misery Abounds

It's been a cold, miserable weekend, and yours truly has been out in the field, close on the trail of a wampus cat. Fascinating creatures, really. The muggles claim that the US government bred wolves with mountain lions (pumas) to create a creature with great speed and great endurance. This, of course, is preposterous. Now, while they possess both these qualities in spades, they are striking especially for their immense size, shaggy coat, and uncanny vocalizations. This particular wampus cat has been at large in the tri-state area for some time, and most recently dragged off a dairy cow from a nearby farm. I was able to track it to its den, where I was able to determine that "it" was a "she", and she had a litter of kits to feed! This may be the closest anyone still living has gotten to a live wampus cat's lair. (Sorry, no pics--strict Ministry protocols and such-like.)

So after a weekend of tracking in the snow and ice and wind, I stopped in at the office to bang out my report, then headed for this little hole-in-the-wall place that makes real Cornish pasties. Papa Myles brought his recipe from the old country and has remained true to the original for four decades. What a chap!

Well, anyway, I was really looking forward to a hot pasty and a cold microbrew, so I disapparated as soon as the coast was clear. When I apparated in the house, I noticed immediately that things seemed quiet and calm. Almost eeriely so. I served up the pasties, and as everyone sat down to eat, I went to the refrigerator. To my horror and utter dismay, I found the imps had consumed all the beer and were obviously plotting to crack open the wine and whatever else they could get their thieving little paws on!

I snatched the half-empty Pepsi and locked them in for the night.